Part Three of Three Part John Wright Jesus Dream Trilogy story! It Has Been Appropriately Titled — “Faith vs. Fear”
By John Wright
Please be advised the following story is a true story, but please understand, it is not meant to disrespect anyone’s faith or convert someone’s faith to mine. This is especially considering that I am a person who does not believe that my salvation depends on what another person believes. It is also especially considering I am not part of any church or religion. I am — however — a person who believes in God and believes the two most important commandments are to “love God with all your heart” and “love your neighbor as yourself”.
Therefore — Ladies and Gentlemen of the Court of Public Opinion — with the above being understood — it is my sincerest hope you will enjoy today’s part three of a three part Jesus dream trilogy. This story has been appropriately titled — “Faith vs. Fear”.
I learned in 1994 at the age of twenty four years old that “fear” is what happens in the absence of “faith”. I learned this through a series of dreams. The dreams were the result of experiencing something very traumatic in 1994. I had seen something that scared me. In the end I had “Several Angel Dreams” and “One God Dream” and “Three Devil Dreams” and “Three Jesus Dreams” in the year 1994. Then one day in 1994 I had one more “Devil Dream” and never had another “Devil Dream” again. The “dreams” were just “dreams” but were the very reason I have never feared “anyone” or “anything” ever again. I do not just say that because it sounds good though. I say it because it is absolutely true. I am not afraid of “anyone” or “anything” ever since what occurred in 1994. I am no longer afraid because the experience and dreams made me spiritually stronger than most people could ever imagine. You will see it in my eyes. You will see it in how I walk. You will see it in how I talk. In fact — because I am an abstract painter — you will even see it when I write. This is along with seeing it in just about every single youtube I have ever made in the past five years.
I was able to understand the difference between “fear” and “faith” only after “intensely” praying for many months every single day during the year 1994. However — with that being said — I am happy to report to you that God and Jesus never “physically” manifested in person during that time. I say this because – some of my friends back then – well – told me this was a good sign (wink). I figured they should know. That was since these were the very same people who told me previously they believed the story in the bible where some dude lived in the belly of a whale. That is what I loved most about the more religious people I encountered. They would look at me like I was crazy after I told them what my friend and I had seen that day in 1994. I still had not lost my sense of humor during that time though. That is why one time I just stood up and said something about it.
I said: “Well — my brethren — at least I believe in something I have actually seen with my own eyes. You three – on the other hand – believe that there are people flying around in the sky with wings on their backs.”
They were absolutely right though. I think it was definitely a good sign that God and Jesus showed up in my dreams instead of in person. I have never and will never represent that these dreams were anything other than just dreams. That’s because I have never been one of these people who were bold enough to say “Jesus told me this” and “Jesus told me that”. I instead just state the facts. The fact was that I had three Jesus dreams in 1994.
The dream started with me instantly standing right in front of Jesus in a beautiful green pasture surrounded by beautiful green hills in the distance. There were patches of low-whitish-gray-clouds moving across the brilliant blue sky above us. There was nothing around us but these beautiful green hills surrounding us in the distance. There were no trees. There were no houses. There were no people. It was just me and Him. I stood about three feet in front of him totally shaking. It was the kind of uncontrollable shaking a person might experience when they are totally cold with their teeth chattering. It was not cold though. I was shaking because my body began to breakdown from the constant “fear” I was experiencing from my very real situation beyond the dream. I was broken and exhausted. I tried saying something but I could not stop trembling to the point it caused me to stutter.
I said: “I – ca – ca – can’t – da – da – do it. I – I – I’m – si –si — sorry.”
I was sorry because I realized that my shaking was a result of “fear” and that “fear” was the result of not having enough “faith”. I knew that “fear” was actually the opposite of “faith.” I could not help it though. I was simply worn down from the images of my past flashing in my mind over and over again. I knew He could see everything I was thinking and feel everything I was feeling. I wanted Him to see what I was feeling. That is why I thought about the day they told me my father was dead. I was only six years old. I was told he died in a car accident. I was crushed. I would later find out from a neighbor girl at nine years old he actually shot himself in the head. I thought about the day I stood in a cold white room at the police department with them taking pictures of my naked nine year old body. They were taking pictures of the strangle marks and other horrible marks on my body from the abuse I was subjected to by a former step-father. I thought I was under arrest. I thought about the night where the former step-father tried to kill my mother when I was nine years old. I stood there staring at my unconscious mother in the front yard on the cement with blood pouring out her head. I thought she was dead. I showed Him that I could still hear the sirens of the police cars and ambulance and fire trucks coming in the distance. I thought about the night I ran away from home when I was fifteen. I thought about how cold I would get sometimes sleeping outside. The past and the present and the future were flashing in my mind while I stood before Jesus in this dream. I was tired of being afraid. I was broken. I slowly looked down at the ground before looking back up at Him with tears streaming down my face. That is when a small compassionate smile slowly appeared on His face while he looked directly into my eyes without blinking even one time. He then asked me a question.
Jesus in my dream: “John, would you like to know what it feels like?”
I slowly looked down at the ground and back up into His eyes while shaking my head slowly in the yes mode while trembling. The next thing I knew – “BAM”– my spirit was now inside His body viewing everything through His eyes. I could hear everything through His ears. I could feel everything He was feeling. I remember hearing war chariots in the distance coming towards us but I could not see them even though I could hear them. It was clear to me these war chariots were coming to do battle with Him but He did not seem worried about it. It was almost as though He would not allow it to interfere with the joy He was feeling in the midst of God’s creation around Him at all times. He did not worry because the assured outcome was sure to come and it was not worth taking his attention away from the joy He was constantly feeling. It was clear He always enjoyed God’s creation around Him as though God had just created it and He was seeing it for the first time. This was even though it was not His first time. It was as though He was always in a state of “awe” regarding God’s creation. He did not care about the war chariots. He seemed more concerned with taking in the joy of God’s creation around Him at all times while in the “now” instead of worrying about something that had not even arrived. I could feel what He felt like when He walked. I could feel what He felt like when He talked. There was no yesterday. There was no tomorrow. There was only right now. There was no fear. There was only His faith. There was only His joy. There was also this feeling that everything was always going to be alright. It was the most incredible peace I had ever experienced in my life.
The next thing I knew – “BAM” – I popped out of His body and was right back in front of Him trembling again. I immediately started crying harder than I did before the experience of seeing everything through His eyes.
He asked: “Why are you crying?”
I responded: “Because I don’t know if I will ever achieve that.”
I looked back down at the ground still trembling and looked back up at Him. The very same compassionate smile I had seen at the beginning of the dream slowly came back on His face. The smile suggested that everything was going to be okay. Him smiling was the last image in my mind when I opened my eyes from the dream.
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